Sour Cream is People! West Hartford Citizens' Police Academy, Gabriella's Scoop Night

Good morning, West Hartford! Today is Thursday, Sept. 29, 2013; there are 124 days left in the year.

OK, kids, there’s a lot to disagree about. Paper vs. plastic. Democrat vs. Republican. Red Sox vs. Yankees. But there is one thing that we all should be in universal accord.

Sour cream is freakin’ awful.

You want to ruin any culinary delight? Plop a dollop of sour cream on it and you have Instant Gross(tm).

I know, I know, I know. There are people who swear by the stuff. I know one dude - who evidently doesn’t have taste buds - who eats sour cream like ice cream.

Well, I’m here to burst your bubble, people, with an epiphany so earth-shattering, it’s nothing short of when Charlton Heston discovered that Soylent Green was people. The answer lies in sour cream’s name.

It’s cream that’s GONE SOUR.

ZOMG!

Stay with me. If you had cream in your fridge that went past its expiration date and it smelled like a teenager’s gym shoe, you’d throw it out, right? You certainly wouldn’t go, ‘Honey, keep it. We can put it on our tacos later.’ But somehow, the all-powerful sour-cream lobby has kept us in the dark by hiding the truth in plain sight.

Don’t be fooled.

Sour cream by any other name would still be disgusting.

SOUR CREAM IS PEOPLE!!!!!

Here are some things going on in the area.

1. Friends, if you have a chance to sign up for the Citizen’s Police Academy, then do so. It’s a great opportunity to find out what police officers in town do.

2. Using business to create social change at 7:30 a.m.

3. Parkinson’s Disease Association West Hartford Support Group at at 3:30 p.m.

4. Gabriella’s 5th Annual Scoop Night will be held on from 6 - 9 p.m. at Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, 5 ½ South Main St.