What Makes Moms Happy?

I’ve been carrying around the most recent issue of Working Mother magazine for about a month now, determined at some point to read the cover article “What Makes Us Happy.” Earlier this month (actually, the day after Mother's Day), I decided today would be the day. I would take it out of my purse-turned-life’s-carryall-bag and read it. Finally.

As I opened to page 23, and read the title “10 Secrets to Being Happy,” my five-year-old jumped into my lap. “Okay, now,” I began, “it's mommy’s quiet reading time.” (As if that would magically give me quiet time.)  After showing her pictures in the magazine for about 10 minutes, she seemed satisfied and wandered off.

I began reading. So, this magazine is going to give away the secrets to happiness I wondered?  Although I consider myself a happy, glass-half-full (actually three-quarters-full) person and extremely optimistic  (almost to a fault according to my sisters) I thought it couldn’t hurt to find out if there were really were secrets to being happy. Ones I could pass on to my daughters.

I move on to paragraph two, and hear “MOMMMMMMM! MOMMMMMMM!“ coming from the family room. (Hold that thought. Back in a minute.) Okay, minor Barbie argument settled.  As I was saying, I turned to page… wait now I lost the magazine.  Be right back.  (Girls were using it for a coaster.)

As I read the article, I realize the secrets they disclose are actually little ways to improve your happiness quota, such as “doodle in your spare time,”,“shake up your routine,” and “visit Iceland” –  and thought, really? I doubt very much these could be the secrets to a mom’s happiness. Let’s face it, when one child is demanding a snack before dinner and the other one is asking (loudly) for help with homework, while you are making chicken cutlets, juggling all three and trying not to yell, doodling will not help. But I digress…

What were we talking about? Oh yes, the secrets to happiness. I think I've known all along what the secrets are … and they are not found in a magazine. (Hold on, back in a minute, need to go look for my little one’s missing flip flop. Ever notice how only a mom knows where the other one is?) Okay, the thing is … a mother’s happiness. I think the secret is there is no secret.  A mom’s happiness might just be the hug your child gives you as they are about to fall sleep, the call out to you in the middle of the night, the brushing and getting tangles out of the hair after shower, the race to make lunch in the morning, the arguing over what is and what is not appropriate to wear to school, the quick hugs we are allowed before anyone sees when they are too “old” for hugs on the school playground… the hole in our hearts as they leave us as they go off to school for the first time. That is happiness.

My mother told me when my first child was born how fast time moves. To hold onto each moment, each hour, each day, because it goes by so quickly. And I realize that as a mother, there really is only one secret to being happy. To live in the moment, and to enjoy each and every moment.  I finally read the article I’ve been carrying around with me for a month, and you know what I discovered? That I already knew the answer.