John Lennon’s song, ‘Beautiful Boy’, contains the famous quote: “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” I have heard this saying so many times and didn’t realize he wrote this song about his son Sean and the love he had for him.
As I sit here on the eve of the first day back to school, I can’t think of a more perfect quote to end our summer with. We had so many “other” plans that didn’t happen this summer…
Earlier in June, we sat down as a family and put together our “Summer To Do List”. Each year, the girls add more and more to the list, things like pick strawberries, and go on a picnic, are usually on the list. This year, my oldest really wanted to “drink out of a coconut” (I think she’s seen one too many summer cruise commercials) while my younger fashionista wanted to host a neighborhood fashion show (complete with admissions and roping off celebrity front row seats.) Because really why wouldn’t celebrities want to trek to our West Hartford neighborhood in August for a back yard fashion show?
Fast forward two months and it's the end of August, and my usual end-of-summer anxiety begins. The days seem shorter, and life seems to go by just a bit faster. HOW in the world am I going to schedule our remaining “to dos” (which also include a water park and Six Flags adventure, and yes, we still haven’t been). I also find myself in the midst of planning a few events, including my daughter’s 10th birthday party.
This year, instead of a pool party as my summer girl usually has, she wanted an old-fashioned stay-at-home-party with her closest girlfriends. She chose a movie theme, so we sat down, created a plan, an itinerary and a check list, and before I knew it Movie Night was here, complete with a homemade concession stand and sundae bar.
But back up… remember I was saying we didn’t finish our to-do list? The one which included host a neighborhood library and try Geocaching (something I read about online and thought, “how fun would that be??!”) I was still thinking we can fit some things later this weekend. (Because I am crazy, just ask my husband, or better yet, one of my sisters.)
This past weekend was her birthday party. All is going smoothly, the crafts completed, the pizza is eaten, the concession stand a hit, and the girls are happily watching a movie. As I begin to arrange the cupcakes on platters, and turn to shut off the lights to sing “Happy Birthday”, it hits me. I realize something. Something a mom should have prepared. Something a mom who is on top of her daughter’s 10th birthday should have planned a while ago. Something every party has: birthday candles.
While I am busy trying to figure out how the heck I’m supposed to get everything done on our summer to do list, organize a movie theme birthday party, get all the back-to-school shopping completed, I forget the most basic birthday item: THE CANDLES. Oops. Bad mommy moment. After calling two neighbors in a panic looking for candles (nope, no candles), I slowly turn towards my daughter, look her straight in the eyes and blurt out: “I don’t have any candles.” And you know what she says? She looks at me and with her big smile, says, "That's okay, mom. I don’t care.” And that’s that.
And that is when it dawns on me. It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter that I don’t have one candle, let alone 10. To her all that matters is that her friends are here and she is having fun. And as I carry the beautiful cupcakes that my friend, The Cake Gypsy, baked for us at the very last minute, I announce to the all the girls, let’s just PRETEND there are candles on the cupcakes, and you know what? Not one of the girls cared. Not one. They sang, smiled, and ate the cupcakes. And the world did not fall apart. Nope, not one bit.
I think the forgotten candles moment pretty much summed up our summer. We had planned for so many things… yet, at the end, didn’t do half of our to-do list because we were busy enjoying our life. The one we didn’t plan, yet ended up happening. Things we might not have scheduled, might not have planned, might not have written down on a journal or to do list, just happened. Happened in the most wonderful unplanned way, and how lucky for us!
Topping my list of our unplanned, unscheduled summer experiences include:
1. Watching my daughter grow into a preteen, but happily rides the carousel because she knows how much it means to her little sister.
2. Seeing the most beautiful sunset over the ocean with the three loves of my life.
3. Talking to my oldest daughter about “girl stuff” (okay that was a big one.)
4. Watching my mother and daughter sit on the couch hand in hand and just talk.
5. Being inspired by my 9 ½ year old who came up with an idea to give children who have had heart surgery special teddy bears, and watch her dream become a reality.
6. Being just as inspired by my 7 year old, who put on her bravest face, and although nervous and a bit scared, walk into a room all by herself and audition for a premiere acting program.
7. Realizing how truly fragile life is when someone I love is in pain, and knowing that nothing I do can make them better, but sometimes a hug and a laugh can make them feel better, if even for a few minutes. And knowing that maybe that’s all I can do. (A hard one to accept.)
8. Listening to my girls giggle late into the night. A sound I could fall asleep to every night.
9. Having the most wonderful conversations with my four year old nephew, three year old niece and one year old niece.
10. Learning bit by bit, how to let go of my to-do lists and go with the flow. (A work in progress.)
Happy end-of-summer…
