'Date Doctor' Thinks Everyone Can Find Love

For years, lovelorn people have been consoled with the old adage, “there’s a lid for every pot.” West Hartford resident Jaimy Blazynski, aka “The Date Doctor,” has made it her mission to create a perfect set of “cookware” using lessons she learned through her years of dating.

Through speed dating events, podcasts, radio and television appearances, and a newly-published book, this local matchmaker likes to exclaim, “we help single people find love, and have fun doing it!”

Ten years ago, Blazynski, a newly divorced, single mother of a one-year-old son, was miserable and lonely. Fast forward to today, and she is now a happily married mother of two sons with an adoring husband, a thriving career and plenty of lessons learned from her many years of crushes and dates. How did she get from point A to point B?

“I went through a reinvention and fell in love with myself,” notes Blazynski. “There wasn’t going to be a change until I made it happen.”

This change did not come overnight, though, and Blazynski admits to walking around in a self-loathing haze after her divorce. Her “Aha!” moment came one day while strolling her son Matthew through the mall, envious of all the happy couples that passed by. Catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror, “I thought ‘Yuck’,” recalls Blazynski.  

It was then that she began to reevaluate herself physically and emotionally and became committed to liking herself more.  She began to believe that she was as worthy of love as those couples she envied at the mall. She started dating on Match.com and, on the 13th try, she met Erik, now her husband. Three years later, in 2004, they were married in Las Vegas and four years ago her second son Trevor was born.

A year after her marriage to Erik, Blazynski, who had previously worked for the East Hartford Board of Education, decided to start her own dating company, got5minutes.com. She wanted to help people find true and lasting love, and she began by organizing speed dating events at local restaurants.

Speed dating involves a group of single individuals who pay a registration fee and are allotted five minutes at a time to chat and to determine if there is any chemistry between them. After five minutes a buzzer sounds, the men rotate to the next table and the chatting begins anew. At the end of the evening, speed daters fill out an evaluation form indicating people they were attracted to and, if both parties have expressed interest, they are given each other’s contact information. Blazynski says that the accelerated date has its benefits.

“Speed dating eliminates the long drawn-out dinner date with someone you’re not into.”

In the six years since she started her speed dating business, “Date Doctor” Blazynski has branched out with television appearances on Better Connecticut, regular Friday afternoon advice sessions on the Damon Scott Show on 96.5 TIC FM, and Sunday night podcasts which she produces and hosts with her husband. Her latest project is a recently published book entitled “Crush.”

Blazynski describes her book as “lessons in love through a lifetime of crushes,” in which she devotes chapters to various men that she dated and the subsequent heartbreak she suffered at the end of the relationships. Beginning with a preschool crush, she chronicles having dated “bad boys,” best friends, married men, and the man who was to become her first husband.

Blazynski notes that writing her book was a cathartic experience. It has also allowed her to reveal to others the great insights about love and dating that she acquired from all of her earlier tribulations.

“The biggest thing I have learned through all of my crushes is, first of all, you should learn from every relationship you have walked out of. If you constantly date jerks you need to stop and look at yourself. Why do you attract these people? Why don’t you see the signs? Why do you tolerate these things? The one common denominator in every relationship that we have is ourselves. If you like yourself… if you think positive thoughts and do everything you can to be the best you can be, you are going to do a lot better.”

She also encourages people to have a life outside of dating. “If your primary focus is finding love and that’s all you think about, and you don’t have other interests and passions, then you lose your appeal. It’s important to have hobbies and do things that make you feel great … then there are more interesting things to talk about with somebody.”

Sound advice from someone who has walked long and hard in the shoes of those searching for that special someone.

Blazynski’s next speed dating event will be held on September 12 at 7 p.m. at Uncorked Restaurant and Wine Bar on Memorial Road in West Hartford. Registration is required. She will be at the Blue Back Square on September 16 at 7 p.m. signing copies of her book. More information is available on her website.