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'Us' vs. 'Them' Polarization Is Crippling Our Nation

How our differences can bind us together into groups that seek victory, not the truth.

I recently watched an interview on www.BillMoyers.com with social psychologist Jonathan Haidt about his new book, "The Righteous Mind, Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion." I was throughly impressed with this man’s work and his findings.


In the book and interview, Haidt explains how our differences can “bind us together into groups that seek victory, not truth, and blind us to our own predispositions.” I find Haidt’s material incredibly interesting because of my work and study as a Life Coach. I’m always wondering about why people do what they do and think the way they think. It is at the very core of my work. Very often, I find that people can’t accomplish their goals precisely because they can’t see past or even recognize their predispositions.

Also, as a columnist for Patch, I often encounter readers that couldn’t just say in the comments that they disagree with me, but rather that I was ”bad,” “insane,” “evil” or actually trying to “destroy our nation.” and I got a lot of nasty comments back on that one. I guess they missed the point. Interestingly enough, this typically happens more with articles that either express political viewpoints or with articles where some readers think I’m expressing some kind of political viewpoint. Haidt’s findings are clearly at work here.

In another of my articles, the comment stream totaled more than 140 comments, and they weren’t even talking about the subject matter of my article directly. Someone mentioned a particular point of view about a related topic and other readers came out of the woodwork to inform this person how wrong, nuts and misguided they were. Truthfully, both sides of that discussion were trying to get the other to see where they were coming from. But as Haidt said, people are so stuck in their worldviews, they can’t even hear what the other side is trying to say. It’s a pretty sad state of affairs.

As a culture, it no longer seems enough to simply say “I don’t agree with you.” People seek not only to make another's viewpoint wrong, but to demonize the person as well. Haidt’s book explains how this has come to pass.

His basic premise is that, as a society, we have placed ourselves into groups that only meet and work with people of like mind, we only watch television shows and channels of a particular ideological bent, and we only read materials that agree with our point of view. We have gone from a society where we were exposed to varying ideas and concepts on a daily basis, into one where we have put on "blinders" when it comes to alternate opinions. This situation is clearly disastrous when it comes to trying to get people to work together — Congress or otherwise.

The word "compromise" has become a dirty word because all "sides" have come to focus merely on "winning." The process of give and take, of thrashing things out, has become a lost art. To compromise would mean to accept, at least in part, another’s views on the world and for people stuck one particular worldview, this cannot be. So we end up with “my side is right and your side is wrong,” instead of “I see it differently from you.”

Haidt says, “The first step that we all need to take is to understand that the other side is not crazy. They're not holding their position just because they've been bribed or because they're racist or whatever evil motives you want to attribute (to them).”

In writing about this topic, I hope to spread Jonathan Haidt’s concepts, because I think they can go a long way to softening the “us vs. them” polarity that is gripping our nation. I also hope that people will take the time to read Jonathan Haidt’s book or at least watch Haidt’s interview with Bill Moyers, and think over their own behaviors when dealing with “alternate viewpoints,” so that, as Haidt puts it, when we hear something from "the other side" (whichever side that is for you), instead of saying “See, this shows how evil they are,” you say, “Oh, okay, I see why they're saying that — it’s just a difference of opinion.”

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Jessica Keller April 24, 2012 at 01:56 pm
The statement: “our differences can ‘bind us together into groups that seek victory, not truth, and blind us to our own predispositions’” presupposes everyone has an absolute, true definition of victory. And therefore, some would have to lie to achieve truth. Can this be true? How do you know this statement is true, or are you predisposed to believe it is true? In that case, how do you know whether or not you should be blind to your predisposition that this is true?
Andrew Ziemba April 24, 2012 at 02:39 pm
The only time people get united or divided in this country is when the government wants them to be. Generally this is to unite people into a babbling frenzy like just after 9/11 or most recently with Trayvon Martin. The government uses the media to control the population or to create chaos.
The biggest problem facing this nation is that we have lost our identity as Americans. We are now the country of me, myself, and I. It is now just about how to get the most you can possibly get out of the system, or other people, before the system collapses. We are entering the most dangerous stage of the collapse, where the system is flailing around, desperately trying to hold on. After the great collapse there will be a renaissance that will re define who we are as a nation going forward.
Maureen April 24, 2012 at 05:37 pm
Our use of communication forums, such as this one, also can add to the problem. We don't know the individual, just the words they choose to type. It may provide an insight into their opinions but it is a flat and limited insight. The compartmentalizing is not just of society, but of our lives as well. In our soundbite world very few know others well, we become identified by our tasks, not ourselves.
LaFrance April 24, 2012 at 06:48 pm
This is a great article and very true. The nation has been crippled by this behavior. So how do we fix it?
Spiff April 25, 2012 at 02:46 pm
How do we fix it, Kate? Well, for starters, I think the liberals (and that includes you Mr. Waldron) need to stop trying to force their ideas and opinions on everyone else! I disagree with Mr. Waldron and others that take this approach. Now, is that civil enough?
BTW, Joel, Bill Moyers? Really? That would be like me introducing something from one of Rush Limbaugh's radio programs.
Kristen Morgan April 26, 2012 at 10:56 am
Spiff, your comment is a perfect example of the phenomenon described by the author, in that I would bet that most Liberals also believe that Conservatives are actively "trying to force their opinions on everyone else." I don't see those attitudes getting any better from either side without more active listening and less reactionary defensiveness. Unfortunately, listening is learned skill that it doesn't seem many folks are interested in these days!
Paul Bahre April 26, 2012 at 12:57 pm
The media when reporting on political stories will go to the fringes of a political party for interviews. They do this for sensationalism. So what we all see in our face is the extreme right of the Republican Party or the extreme Left of the Democrat party. We see the fight on the two extremes. What we end up missing is the compromises in the middle. And those compromises are becoming fewer and fewer as more fringe elements jump into the political arena. American's don't want to be governed by the right or left they want their government to function in the middle. American's want to live their lives unencumbered by government as much as possible and not to have to get tangled up in bureaucracy as much as possible.
Spiff April 26, 2012 at 02:06 pm
Hi Kristen, if you think that "Liberals also believe Conservatives are actively trying to force their opinions on everyone else," then you clearly don't have an understanding of conservative values that include smaller and less intrusive government, lower taxes, more personal freedoms, fewer regulations, etc., etc., etc. Conservatives simply want to be able to take care of themselves the way they see fit. Liberals on the other hand are more likely to think that they know what's best for everyone and they pass legislation that reflects their ideals, even though their constituency may not support it. Two perfect examples of this include (and I'm not here to discuss these issues, merely pointing out that the majority of people did not support these laws) 1) death penalty repeal signed by Governor Malloy just yesterday, and 2) Obamacare passed two years ago. The large majority of citizens (within CT and across the nation, respectively) do not support either of these pieces of legislation, and this is fact based on scientific polling. With complete disregard to how the majority of people felt, the Democrats, here in CT and in Washington, forced this legislation on its citizens. So, Kristen, drawing from your comment, are you and the liberals "listening" yet?
Kristen Morgan April 26, 2012 at 03:19 pm
Spiff, I am listening. What I hear you saying is that you feel that the government should play a smaller role than it currently plays in our day to day lives, and that you feel frustration that the government does not make decisions based on "the will of the people." Am I understanding you?
Kristen Morgan April 26, 2012 at 03:21 pm
Paul, I agree with your assessment. I take comfort in the fact that I enjoy still enjoy the company of family, friends, and co-workers who hold different political views than I do, based on what we DO have in common!
Spiff April 26, 2012 at 04:08 pm
Partially, the primary point of my response to you, Kristen, was to demonstrate that Liberals are much more likely than Conservatives to try and force their ideas and opinions on others.
Wyatt April 26, 2012 at 04:44 pm
Kristen makes an excellent point and I believe Spiff is defining "conservatives" as too narrow. Yes, some conservatives support small and less intrusive government, but it is far from uniform. There is a BIG difference between a conservative such as Ron Paul (who does believe in small government) and a conservative such as Rick Santorum (who believes in a big government pushing his values).
Liberals are perfectly justified in believing that Rick Santorum-type conservatives want to force their values on others. There are many examples of this, including drug laws, same sex marriage, abortion, right to die legislation, pornography, and others. While I agree that liberals are more likely to use government to impose certain values (i.e. environmental protection), many conservatives also are guilty of it too.
Paul Bahre April 26, 2012 at 04:52 pm
Opinions are like back orifices everyone has one and they all stink. Just don't try and get me to say that your's is smelling like roses.
Spiff April 26, 2012 at 05:35 pm
"Defining conservatives as too narrow"? You clearly don't have an understanding of conservative values either, Mr. Earp. The examples I cited are undeniably conservative.
In addition, neither Ron Paul nor Rick Santorum are representative of conservatives, and that is why neither will get the Republican nomination. (They may represent certain segments, but not conservatives overall.) These two individuals have views that are too extreme (to Paul's point below), and that is why there is such a "BIG" difference between them. On the other hand, in recent years, the Democrats have been represented by the extreme Liberal wing of their party (Pelosi, Reed, Obama, Malloy here in CT, etc.), those who are forcing big government down our throats, in contrast to what the majority of people want. So, while I agree with you, Mr. Earp, that there are some Rick Santorum types in the Republican party, they are not representative of the party overall, and Republicans/Conservatives are far less likely than Liberals to try to force their ideas on others.
Wyatt April 26, 2012 at 06:06 pm
Spiff, I think it is important for you to recognize that you are not the arbiter of what is or what is not a conservative value. As you should be aware, there is great variety of conservative thought and there is hardly a uniform agenda. Just like liberals, conservatives differ on many issues and different branches of conservatism (social, economic, fiscal, etc.) emphasize different points.
Under the umbrella of "conservatism" you have big government types like Santorum, small government types like Paul and supporters of the status quo like Romney. For example, Rick Santorum represents one of the main pillars of the conservative movement - the social conservative bloc - which is decidedly big government in nature. Simply because you disagree with them, does not make Santorum or his supporters as less conservative. I'm happy that you at least recognize this. From a liberal standpoint though, I believe the Rick Santorum bloc of the GOP is indistinguisable from conservatives in general as the GOP has largely adopted its values and policies. Even Romney has adopted a few anti-states rights and anti-individual liberty positions dear to the Rick Santorum wing, such as a Federal marriage amendment. I think you should take a step back and try to recognize the value of what Kristen is saying. Only then, can a more mature dialogue be had.
R Eleveld April 26, 2012 at 06:42 pm
I recently read somewhere an interesting piece on the difference of Republicans vs Democrats, conservative vs liberal. It can be summed up in a very broad concept of equalization of outcomes, vs the equalization of opportunities. Is there a difference? Absolutely.
The former means regardless of your output you should benefit similarly to others. That Government through laws, rules or regulations should provide a 'benefit' to those 'aggrieved' and not receiving the full benefit from society. That society needs to protect you through regulations from the myriad dangers of life. The latter is based upon the concept that all should be given the same opportunity to succeed. Government should not give a benefit that skews the results in a particular direction or make people do things. People should be allowed to make their own mistakes, the good, the bad and the ugly. The broad concepts color all. We all must realize there are no absolutes in politics or in life. In the words we use we color our approach. The difference is an attitude. What is your attitude to life?
Spiff April 26, 2012 at 06:48 pm
Oh, I absolutely recognize the value of what Kristen is saying (about listening, that is), and I do understand that there may be some liberals who think conservatives are trying to force their opinions on others. I'm just looking at this from a bigger picture perspective, not focusing on the Pauls or Santorums of the world, but rather liberal vs. conservative ideology. No one can disagree that conservatives as a group (again, not focusing on any one individual) are for smaller government, lower taxes, etc., and liberals as a group are for bigger government, higher taxes, etc. And, if you agree with that, Wyatt, then I'm sure you can connect the dots back to my original comment and my response to Kristen. Good day, sir!
Spiff April 26, 2012 at 06:54 pm
Well said Mr. Eleveld. My attitude to life? Well, if you've read my posts in this thread, then you already know! ;) Good day to you sir!
Bill W April 27, 2012 at 06:49 pm
Spiff,
Like others, I believe you are participating (at a more civil level, I’ll grant) in what the original article spoke about. While I don’t disagree with your definition of what the conservative narrative is these days, I do have a problem with your “One True Scotsman” fallacy. That is, whenever a popular conservative is mentioned, you are quick to dismiss them as not really conservatives. Not the moralizing wing of the GOP. Not the libertarian wing. I can assume not the conciliatory wing like Romney represents – and he has a proven track record of expanding government. Probably not the Bush/Cheney neocon government bloating, world policing wing. Obviously not the CT/New England “RINO” wing. I’d imagine not the anti-abortion wing. So who does that leave you? When you specifically mention those you claim are super liberal as run-of-the-mill democrats, you are succumbing to the very issue the article is about.
Bill W April 27, 2012 at 06:50 pm
Tell that to the Iraqis.
Spiff April 27, 2012 at 07:28 pm
Mr. W, you must have misunderstood my comment. I've never suggested that Paul or Santorum aren't conservative, just that they are too extreme. That's all! I recognize that both of these politicians are very conservative, just not representative of the party overall, and that is why they will not get the nomination.
As for the "super liberals" who are leading the Democratic party, are you telling me that Pelosi, Reed, Obama and Malloy aren't super liberal? They may not be "run of the mill" Democrats, but they are the leaders of the Democratic party, and there is no debating that.
Spiff April 27, 2012 at 07:31 pm
Bill, you're kiddin' me, aren't you? Come-on, we're not talking about the Iraqi political environment, we're discussing politics within the U.S.
Bill W April 27, 2012 at 07:48 pm
Yes. I’m suggesting that. For one, Harry Reid (not Reed) is a Mormon convert who is against abortion except in the most extreme cases. I can’t understand why people call our president “liberal.” It’s used as an insult but it holds no water. He’s centrist at best. He continued torture and Guantanamo. He propped up Wall Street. His cabinet is filled with Wall Streeters. He caters to the very banks who bankrupted us. He increased war efforts abroad (before “ending” the War in Iraq – holding up a Bush dictum). He expanded gun rights. He continued the Patriot Act. He continued the Bush Tax cuts and extended the payroll tax holiday. He signed the NDAA which states that American citizens arrested in the US can face either indefinite detention or military tribunals.
I ask you, what in the world has this president done that wasn’t, until perhaps very recently, a GOP platform issue? (Note: let’s dispense with “Obamacare.” Why? For one, his opposition candidate implemented the same rules in Massachusetts but more importantly, the big bugaboo that may doom it in the SCOTUS and what most conservatives take issue with – the individual mandates – has ALWAYS been a conservative cornerstone. Until Obama adopted it. If Obamacare was a single-payer system then yes, you’d have a point. But it’s not… Not even close. So again, what has Obama done or heavily supported that is liberal/socialist/ruining the country, etc?
Kristen Morgan April 28, 2012 at 03:29 pm
"Partially, the primary point of my response to you, Kristen, was to demonstrate that Liberals are much more likely than Conservatives to try and force their ideas and opinions on others."
I hear you. And I guarantee that if you switch the words "Liberals" and "Conservatives" that sentence would ring true for many people as well. I guess the point is that until we all stop thinking that someone else is trying to shove their ideas down our throats (and I admit I'm often guilty of thinking this way!) that it will be impossible to ever come to a consensus on anything. I think that's all the author was trying to point out as well?
Bill W May 3, 2012 at 07:10 pm
Being new to the way Patch works, I don't want to be a jerk here - but I asked a question that almost all anti-Obama folks say is easy to answer- but didn't get an answer. In fact, this has always been the case when I ask this same question. It's amazing.
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