Snotpuss for President 2012!Posted on October 23, 2012 at 6:21 pm
My cat, Snotpuss, has been following the Presidential debates very closely and has expressed such disappointment in the two candidates by constantly putting her paws on the television screen whenever Obama and Romney spoke during the debates, spewing hairballs all over our rug for weeks, and even ripping up the newspaper articles that have reviewed the debates. Consequently she has decided to throw her cat ball into the ring and run for President. She made that announcement to me last night at 4:00 AM in the morning after much purring and scratching on my bedpost.
Honestly I think that Snotpuss would make an excellent President. Unlike Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, she does not utter ad nauseum the same trite phrases that I have been hearing for months, if not years: no nonsense about how reducing taxes on the super rich is going to magically create, in the words of Carl Sagan, billions and billions and billions of jobs here in the US. No false promises from Snotpuss. In fact, quite refreshingly, Snotpuss thinks outside of the box because, quite frankly, she has to: she poops in that litter box, and, trust me, she leaves little, if any, room for thought there.
And I must confess that Snotpuss has never lied to me. Sure, she scratches me daily, and even bites me occasionally, but she would never make a promise that she would not keep. She doesn't have to. Like any cat, she does whatever she wants to do. I like that. She is very independent and is definitely her own cat, unlike all the other candidates, who are bought and paid for.
I suspect that Snotpuss is more of a Republican than a Democrat at heart, even though she professes no party affiliation. She believes in eating whatever she kills; and is very territorial, attacking anyone who dares to enter her domain. However, she has never paid any taxes, so like the 47% in our country who pay no taxes, maybe she is part Democrat, too. Hmmmm...I will show her pictures of a jackass and an elephant and see which one she prefers.
If Snotpuss wins the Presidency, she likely will appoint a very unorthodox cabinet. Purrcy will probably be her Secretary of Defense because, although little, she is the toughest kitty I know. And Murphy will be her Secretary of State because he is very, very loquacious. Circles will be the Secretary of Agriculture because all he does is eat. I suspect that I may be asked to serve as the Secretary of the Treasury since I have been paying for all of the cat food over the past seventeen years.
I hope more people consider Snotpuss for President. Our country needs change and a fresh face. And I assure you that Snotpuss is indeed fresh.
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